Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Fat and Fit

When I get interested in something I tend to research it endlessly. This means I've been reading a lot of blogs lately that are fitness/health oriented.

As soon as I decided I wanted to change my diet, I started scouring the web for paleo/primal food blogs. When I started to run at the gym, I found myself watching videos about proper running form and looking for inspiration everywhere. I'm such a slow runner that it's easy to get discouraged and want to quit, but I don't want to be that person. Reading about other people's struggles can make all the difference sometimes and it's nice to feel solidarity with other people.
There's also a downside to reading a lot of blogs that focus on health and weightloss though. Far too many of these blogs have serious negative overtones when talking about their past "fat" selves. While I think everyone should have the body they want, this can really put a damper on my day. A person's value has nothing to do with their fatness and I've often found myself getting defensive in a way that was kind of surprising.

I'm not going to pretend I know any more about life than anyone else, but what I do know is this: love is not conditional. If you need to lose ten more pounds before you can really love your body, well that's not love in my eyes. Loosing weight will not make a person more comfortable in their own body by default. It may make it a lot easier for some, but pant size doesn't indicate self confidence. I wear a size 20. TWENTY. And you know what? I love my body. I rock the shit out of cute ass dresses and am constantly amazed by the things my body can do. We tend to forget all the amazing things we do everyday with our bodies. Just the very act of walking or having pupils that can contract is something to celebrate. And thumbs. What would we ever do without them?

I'm not saying people shouldn't want to lose wight or that there won't be days when we feel bad about our bodies. Highs and lows are a fact of life and people have the right to think some types of bodies are more desirable than others. I'm just tired of fatness being equated with unattractiveness or laziness. My "fat days" are filled with more health and love than a lot of thin people's. So please stop projecting your body insecurities onto me. Cause I'm sexy and chubby man. And that's okay.

I just wish other people could see it that way.


  1. Good for you Alana! BTW I don't see any thumbs on the above model, just sayin.

  2. Ugh, yes! The idea that the size or shape of your body is in any way inherently tied to fitness or health or happiness is ridiculous! I've been a size 4 my whole adult life so far, and that's been through times where I was at my best fitness and health level, and times like now where I'm in the worst shape of my life due to a spinal injury that has prevented me from exercising the way I want. There have been times I've been happy with my body and times I've been unhappy with it, and it's been the same size the whole time. When I complain about being out of shape, people always say "but you look fine!" and it annoys the hell out of me because that's not what I'm talking about! I may be petite, but I still get winded going up a flight of stairs. I'm in terrible shape. My relative amount of fat has had nothing to do with any of that!

    1. This is exactly why I always appreciate your comments! Most people tend to forget about the flip side of this and it's interesting to hear how people can be dismissive because you're petite. I never even considered that.

      P.S. Hope your back gets better soon!

  3. I know I have struggled a lot lately with wanting to see a different body, even though I should be so proud of the body I have because I've gotten so much stronger over the last three years. It's something I'm working on, but let me tell ya, it's bloody difficult!!

    I think my biggest problem is reading fitness/nutrition-related blogs and seeing people slam anyone who eats something unhealthy. In about two minutes, as soon as I'm finished typing this comment, I'm having some chocolate. I don't eat it every day. I eat a small portion. But there are some bloggers who act like that's OMG SO BAD when really, 95% of my calories today will be fruits, veggies and lean protein. People can be so judgey!

    1. Screw those people. Seriously, I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to these sorts of things. If you make me feel bad or guilty about my body/life, then I don't want anything to do with you. Period.

      I can tell this is something you struggle with. Not just because of your posts, but also because of little comments here and there. It seems like you have a hard time giving yourself permission to enjoy your body as it is sometimes. Which really is a shame cause you're a huge inspiration to a lot of people and you really have transformed your life in a way many people find impossible. So go you!

      Also, I'm totally eating chocolate now too lol. I like to melt a small handful of dark chocolate chips in the microwave and dip a banana in it. I refuse to believe the world is gonna come to an end over 15 chocolate chips. I'm an 80/20 girl. Eat good 80% of the time and indulge for 20%. Everyone has to find a system they can live with.

    2. It's still a struggle. I find that my mind has a harder time catching up to my awesome strong body. LOL I'm getting better. Having my trainer tell me I'm "shapely" (true story!) and also constantly go on and on about how well I'm doing with various exercises helps. ;)

  4. I like your ideas on fitness and size.

    I consider myself a connoiseur of the female form (not in a sexist mysogynist way, but respectfully - seriously ;-). I have found beauty - and, sadly, ugliness- in women of most shapes and sizes.

    "Sexy" is a state of mind as much as it is a physical thing, maybe moreso.
    Yes, you are sexy and chubby. I'd know that even if I had never seen a photo of you. Fortunately, you have included a few photos here to confirm that :-)