Thursday, December 26, 2013

Disneyland 2013

I'm spending Christmas in San Diego this year and we decided to spend four days at Disneyland. While the trip tested my patience more than I ever would have imagined, it was also a lot of fun. Seeing the park all dolled up for the holidays was great and made it extra special.

I think I've had enough Disneyland for a lifetime.

You can see the whole album here.

Silence can be comforting

Sometimes you think people don't care, but then you realize there's just too much between you to ever go back to saying casual things. The happy birthdays and holiday wishes disappear and silence becomes the only safe option.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Stop being who you were and become who you are

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
                                                                                                                       —Paulo Coehlo

Monday, December 9, 2013

For Women Who Are Difficult to Love

I stumbled across this video inspired by the poem "For Women Who Are Difficult to Love" and I love everything about it. The music, the imagery. It's lovely in every way.

For Women Who Are Difficult to Love
by Warsan Shire

You are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?

closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake

but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave

you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.
Director, Producer : Andrea Cortes-Juarbe & Christine Mehr

The days drag on and the weeks fly by

I feel like I've lived a lifetime with every breath and yet I blinked and two years flew by.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Things do not change, we change

Have you ever taken a good hard look at your life and found it lacking? It's so easy to get caught up in the daily grind that we forget to focus on growing as people and fostering habits or hobbies that we love. Lately I've thought a lot about the kind of person I want to be and the type of life I want to have. Like most people I'm just not there yet, but there are five areas I've decided I'm gonna focus on. Because it's never too late to change for the better.

1. Get my sleep under control

I have always had horrible sleep habits. If I could stay up all night and sleep all day I would do so happily. I tend to sleep too much or not nearly enough and that's resulted in me always being tired. It's not a lot of fun.

2. Go to the gym

I've been complaining about not going to the gym for too long. I'm hoping to combine this with my waking up early plan.

3. Live with less

I love to buy stuff. Honestly, when I'm not working I'm either napping, shopping, or eating. There's more to life then pretty objects and I need to figure out how to budget and stop wasting my money on useless crap. It's not gonna be easy, but I'm planning to stop using shopping as a leisure activity right away.

4. Learn another language

Language has always been the hardest classes I've taken. I failed Spanish and French (twice!). But I really want to be bilingual. I think it's just a really good skill to have and I plan on trying again.

5. Take up some hobbies

I used to paint and be really creative but I've completely stopped. I want to try sewing again and maybe take up archery.

I know people talk a lot about how they want to change, but I'm hoping this blog post will help keep me accountable. And if you have any tips or suggestions then let me know! I'd also like to stop eating out as much but I'm gonna hold off on that one until sleeping and working out gets figured out. Baby steps as they say.