Saturday, January 23, 2016

2016 Goals

For all of my posts about how I am better off without the man who crushed my heart into a million little pieces, I am still struggling through a lot of anger and sadness. In order to keep myself from drowning, I have been thinking a lot about what I want out of life and out of myself this year.

Here are my 2016 goals:

1. Get a tattoo

My favorite quote is from an interview with Ray Bradbury in October 1990. Bradbury said:

“If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical: ‘It’s gonna go wrong.’ Or ‘She’s going to hurt me.’ Or ‘I had a couple of bad love affairs so therefore …’ 
“Well, that’s nonsense. You’re going to miss life. You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.”
Build your wings on the way down. That statement has always meant a lot to me and that's how I live my life. I have been thinking about getting it tattooed for a few years now, but I always put it off. In a weird way it's like I needed to wait until I went through this experience before it was right. I will have those words on me by the end of the year.

2. Boxing/kickboxing

I had always told people I wanted to try kickboxing and the time is now. I actually went to a boxing class last night and I plan on keeping it up. I felt better last night than I had in months. I've been unhappy for too long and it's time to shake my funk and move on with life. If it's as a hotter more kick ass version of myself, even better.

3. Take a class

I know vagueness is the death of goal making, but I am open to learning whatever tickles my fancy. I've always wanted to take a night photography class and an archery class. I'd like to learn how to make my own beer and take a beer tasting class. I want to learn how to needle point. There are so many things I want to do, but I just make excuses for my laziness. Well this year I will take at least one class.

4. Take a trip

I need to go somewhere. I have always talked about an Alaskan cruise. The time is now. If I get my bonus for this quarter, I am going somewhere. Anywhere.

5. Start Swimming Again

I love swimming and I need to start it up again. My goal is to replace my heartache with endorphins. It's honestly the only thing that consistently makes me feel better.

6. Start cooking again

I have to start blogging about something other than my heartache. And who doesn't love food?

7. Make more time for Holden

I have been in a funk for a couple months and I need to take the time to work on my relationship with my son. He has gotten into photography so I think I'm gonna start taking walks with him so we can find things to photograph. Or maybe I'll play Minecraft with him once a week. Something.

8. Make more time for my friends

I want to start a weekly dinner or something for the few people in my life. These people have become my family and they have talked me back from the ledge so many times this last month. I honestly don't know where I would be today without them. I love them and I need to go back to the people who genuinely and unselfishly care about me.

9. Forgive and let go

I need to truly forgive and let go. For no other reason than it's just too heavy a burden for me to carry.

10. Be open to love

Now I'm not saying I want to fall in love. Screw that. I can't just turn my affections on and off like a robot. But I want to go through the year with the knowledge that I will be open to life and love as opportunities arise. I do not want to poison the well out of fear or laziness.

It may not seem like much, but that's what I got. And it's more than I had yesterday.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah I deleted your comment without reading it. Go fuck yourself.